It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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