I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
