Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
