i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
