Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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