i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
