it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize