Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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