i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
