I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
