she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
