I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
