Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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