Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
