remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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