I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
