Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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