I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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