I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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