It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
