I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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