1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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