Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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