I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
