A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My vagina is officially offended.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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