What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
