He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Randomize
