just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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