wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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