Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Terrible idea I love it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Damn victory sex feels great
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
