Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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