your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
