you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
