We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
