dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
