Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
