actually, I'm a sock model
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
