flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
organizing the empties. That sober.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
