I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he thought i was a dude.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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