I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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