Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
