The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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