I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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