Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
