Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
