just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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