if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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