Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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