Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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