best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Brb crying the tears of my youth
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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