ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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