he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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